No stranger to fundraising after losing a dear friend in Kim and Andrea, we’d done Race For Life and a parachute jump – but this was just the beginning.

Fundraising was a welcomed distraction whilst undergoing treatment and waiting for surgery. Just to add to the mix of what was already happening, I was advised to have the BRCA test done to rule out the possibility of possessing the BRCA gene, which would be hereditary, and something I feared passing on to my daughter. This is when fundraising became fun-raising.

Calendar Girls

Suns out, current buns out, guns out!

One sunny Sunday morning, I and eight friends descended upon The Cosy Tearoom. I had attended a lady’s school reunion some months previous and I had fallen in love with the quaintness and charm of the set-up. The proprietor Gill Osbourne had made the best afternoon tea, but above all had made us all feel so welcome. Before leaving, I asked if she would allow us to return at a later date to complete a charity calendar photoshoot within her tearoom and garden. Extremely kindly, she said yes! And now that day had arrived, so back to the shoot. It was all a little daunting, but we all embraced the freedom and in no time, gone were the bras! The gorgeous Jill Coleman volunteered to do our vintage style make up in keeping with the theme and had her powder brush at the ready for any touch ups. First up, Tina Eccles, to whom we all followed giggling and laughing. It is worth noting that this quaint little tearoom and garden was situated on the A6 so we received numerous beeps and honks throughout the shoot. This was it – buns out aptly covered by cherry scones and teapots! Although fashioning a Santa hat in the middle of Summer to pose for December was a little bizarre! Once we had our shots, friend Jane Sowden edited all of the images together to create our masterpiece. Also, a thank you to Charlie Fowlds for snapping the shots. Speaking of cake, ICED of Garstang made a fantastic boob cake, in keeping with the vintage theme, to help promote the calendar launch. With every calendar sold, they gave away a free piece of cake lovingly made by two ladies who I had worked with previously during my school years.

A word from one of the Calendar Girls, Emma Brierley:

I have been a close friend of Toni’s for about 15 years and when she told me she had breast cancer it took the wind out of me, like it did with all her friends and of course her family. Having lost my sister to cancer the previous year I was terrified that I’d lose Toni too, but she was there for me when I needed her and now, I was going to be there for her. So, when she came up with the calendar it was an instant yes! Even though I was quite nervous about getting my wobbly bits out for the camera, the beautiful sunny day came, and I pushed my insecurities aside and we did it! For Toni and for everybody touched by cancer, and for my sister who sadly lost her fight. It was an awesome day with some awesome ladies and an experience I will never forget, Toni has come a long way since her diagnosis, she’s always been a force to reckon with but since then she’s shown amazing strength and a passion to help others. She is a true inspiration and I’m very proud to call her my friend – we love you to bits Toni, stay strong!

Teacups and D Cups

Afternoon tea, this time with less boobs and more buns.

A local village hall donned with bra bunting, everyone rallied round to make cakes and savouries, and Cancer Care Lancaster attended with some free goodie bags, and a talk about where the donated money would be spent. Choosing this charity was easy. They are an independent charity who rely on the kindness of others and continue to provide amazing work throughout the community. Their support to cancer patients and their families is second to none, and they had a significant impact on my journey.

Having not been able to attend herself, my daughter provided a reading for the occasion as a personal thank you. As follows:

First of all, I just wanted to thank you all for coming this afternoon as it shows a great support towards my Mum and our family. Given recent events, you don’t need to hear words from me to present to you just how brave my Mum has been during these past few months. But one thing that I think is important to say is this:

As most of you will know we sadly lost a great Mum and Nan all those years ago, the glue that held our family together, the core, the woman who my Mum would spend many an hour to on the phone gossiping or getting advice. And as despite losing the best Nan in the world, I never went through the pain of losing a Mum like my Mum did.

More recently, due to the awful disease that is dementia, to some degree we also lost our Grandad, not physically, but he’s been robbed of the charm and charisma that also made him a great Dad and Grandad. On a good day you can still share a conversation with him and often lots of giggles but not on the same scale as the past and with no certainty that he will remember on your next visit.

Then, we are hit with the news that mum has cancer.

But the main point here is that I used to think family was everything, and yes that is including Hector as he is a Mummy’s boy, my Mum has powered through without a Mum or Dad to turn to. And whilst some things are kept exclusively between family, tears, struggles, pain and anger, the astonishing kindness from friends has filled that void between family and friendship.

Mum, as you know, in my dissertation acknowledgements I dedicated my degree to Grandad, and now I move on to my Masters, this is for you, you absolute hero.

So, most of all, I want to say thank you. Thank you to those who donated, thank you to those who have given their time, thank you to those who have reassured Mum that their door is always open, thank you to those who have encouraged my Mum to keep fighting, but most of all thank you to the friends out there that have made up the support Mum has missed from parents, and then some. You’ve made one family unit feel like the biggest family ever!

And finally, thank you Mum for being a bloody legend who’s kicking cancer’s ass, we all love you loads.

BA Fitness 5000m Ski

After asking Billy if he could advertise the afternoon tea event on the BA Fitness page, he assured me that they could go one better and hosted the 5000m ski event. This was a nonstop challenge on a Ski Erg, completing 5000m, accompanied by a £10 donation for those taking part, and those that wanted to cheer on from the side lines. I couldn’t have lived with letting them all volunteer themselves for a beasting but not commit myself to endure the same amount of pain – so in I walk, ready to start what I can only describe as 25 minutes of hell. Prosecco on ice upon finishing got us through, and as I reached my last few meters, I can vividly remember the support from the side lines. Overwhelmed at finishing such a task, I was overcome with emotion and ended the ski in tears.

Doing It For Dad

We took it back to the 80s for the ultimate 50th birthday celebrations all in aid of raising money for Dad’s care home. Its indescribable the lengths that all of the staff and management have gone to to provide the best quality care to my dad, he was settled and content in his last couple of years of life – something we are eternally grateful for. So, in return we donned our leg warmers, oversized t-shirts and sweatbands to moonwalk our way back to the 80s. A couple of games of ‘Play Your Cards Rights’ and a thoughtful reading of ‘Remember Me’ – a poem that captures the physical loss of dementia – we partied away with jelly shots and a bit of Whitney.

With tickets sold, donated raffle prizes, donations, BA Fitness crowdfunding, we raised upwards of £10,000. The home benefited from a new salon space where residents could get their hair and nails done, the BRCA test was carried out, and Cancer Care Lancaster had a donation to use at they wished within the charity.

I would also like to include a note written by close friend Cathy Dickinson, who I properly met during my fundraising days: