Following a Social Media post, asking for people to guest blog on my page, I received an email from this beautiful soul, Rebecca Wulkan. A Sister Warrior, living in Canada. Talk about juggling lifestyles. Rebecca you are an inspiration to us all.

Rebecca’s Story…

As I sit here trying to write about myself, I’m confronted with a momentary wave of selfishness. Because, I want you to hear my story so that once I’m gone, there will be memories of me all over the place. Selfishly, I want to know that my life had purpose and meaning and that in some way, I was able to encourage you and help you smile.

I am 42.   I am a wife to my husband of 21 years. I am a Mom to 5 boys ages 17, 14, 10 and 6 year old twins. This past June I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then in August, after all the usual scans and tests, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastasized Breast Cancer.  The cancer had jumped a ride on the lymph system and gotten to my bones.

Now I am learning how to be a wife and a parent in the midst of my grief and medication.  Which I’m finding is no easy feat.

Three of my boys are diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADHD.  I also have ADHD.  We are a loud and energetic household. But we also have a huge problem with fear and allowing that to take over our family system. Telling anxious kids about a cancer diagnosis is tricky enough but they weathered that storm fairly well. Telling them about a cancer for life with no idea how long that life will be diagnosis sent them into panic attacks.

So I find myself in a confusing place at a time in life when I thought things would be settling down a little.  I am a life coach and started my own business when the last 2 boys entered kindergarten.  I started a veggie garden for the first time.  I conned my husband into building me a chicken coop.  I was in a settling phase of life. Settling in to enjoy some new hobbies and work.  Settling in with kids old enough to help out and help themselves. Settling into my dream home on the West Coast of BC.

My life looks so different from what I had imagined it to be a year ago. The period of settling in was short lived and now we’ve been in such an unsettled phase for so long that I can’t even remember what it feels like to have a calm and content moment.

But I am not someone who goes down easily without a fight.  So that’s what I’m doing.  In Canada, I’m struggling to find great cancer care.  When my diagnosis went from curable to only treatable, my Oncologist essentially stopped contact with me.  I see a Dr here in my small town that is somewhat of a liaison to my oncologist but it’s not the same.  What it feels like is being dropped from care because my life isn’t saveable anyways.

That both pisses me off and inspires me.  I am working on becoming a Stage 4 advocate here in BC and spreading word that “thrivers” need care too. Along with that, I’m working on advocating for better mental health support for families with kids who need extra care.  Both of these systems seem to be lacking in my area so I’m in a process of researching what’s out there and seeing where I can get involved.

In the midst of all this turmoil, I turn to writing to help process the emotional highs and lows of living with cancer and parenting kids with mental health illness. I also enjoy photographing my journey on Instagram and Facebook and while that is as much for me as anyone else, I am always looking for likeminded people to join up with.

I also love hiking and running in the woods with my kids and dog. There is where I find my peace and calm.  I am also blessed to live 2 blocks from the ocean and I often take those same boys to the beach to throw rocks, watch the waves and occasionally swim.

Finding joy in the small moments and taking one day at a time is my current way of living. And I am grateful for each day I have.