A mad dash around every lingerie shop in town to gather a collection of sexy pieces to strut around in for a Burlesque photo shoot. Honestly the woman at the counter of Ann Summers was like “Bring it on.” Not quite the same reaction from the beige coloured assistant in Marks & Spencer, she looked at me like i was a fucking hooker..I bet she only ever did missionary position, miserable cow. I nearly said to her, as i struggled to shove it all in to my bag as fast as possible, ” i’ll send you some pics to cheer you up.”

So scrolling through Social Media one day and I don’t know why as I had seen the advert before but never commented but on this particular day I did. Within minutes I had received a message to say that I had won a burlesque photo shoot, well obviously I thought it was just me…..Silly little me had won a shoot…..I know I know I wasn’t the only one, myself and hundreds of others had been randomly selected but, the thought of it just being me for that moment was epic!!!!!

So I did as I was instructed . I called them up and arranged my FREE shoot.

I have to admit I was a little dubious as I am with anything you supposedly win however, my brain had already started to wander around the sexy lingerie shops picking out outfits. And no, i fucking wasn’t practising poses in the bedroom mirror pouting like a baboon…Often!!!

With all the arrangements made all I had to do now was find someone suitable and available to come along with me as my guest for the day. Straight away Sara Louise popped into my head. A fun loving bubbly character with style…I often refer to Sara has Hyacinth Bouquet wankered on gin, in an elegant manner.  Myself & Sara arranged to meet at a local Thatched Hamlet so I could jump in the Range Rover, well sometimes its just got to be done. It had more boot space than mine, and Sara had brought so much stuff for me that it was rammed full of shoes etc. Emelda Marcos or whatever she’s called.Shoe lady for ease, she would have been proud of this haul. You’d think I was going for a bloody a week, not a half day.

Still, a perfect choice & she is very good at organising I have to say. When I did a fundraiser afternoon tea at a local Cricket Club Pavilion, Sara had dressed the whole place with bras, she brought huge boxes full of her own bras. In fact I reckon she had more bras that day of her own hanging around the place as I had owned in my entire fecking life, I kid you not!!!! I think you get the picture, the boot was bursting. Finally Manchester bound I was going over my invisible check list. “Had i shaved all my strays??” “Have i packed tweezers just in case?” ” Had i sprayed every nook & cranny?” “And what if i feel the urge to fart as shes taking a shot?” Not another episode of fucking “Poo in my shoe” Again. Imagine that in my new thong!!!

Sarah parks outside the studio, like on the pavement right outside. I mean i’m thin but you’d have to be a bloody hologram to get out of the passenger side door. I did consider climbing out of the boot but with an audience from inside the studio, i had no choice but to ask Sara to not park like a twat and try again.

Greeted by a lady  to a warm inviting reception area where we were served bubbly and nibbles whilst I waited to be called to have my make up professionally done. Getting me looking somewhat now glamorous didn’t take too long. I felt i had been conned by the stylist as far as my hair was concerned. It had just started to come back properly so a quick ruffle with the hairdressers fingers with wax was all i needed, it was slightly better than the dead dandelion look i rocked up with. I just  thought there was no clock anywhere in the building. People started to ask me for the time and blow at my head…Weirdos!!!

I was finally ready to head upstairs with Sara to meet the photographer. It was all a bit surreal walking past rooms themed for the shoot to an office to meet  the beautiful Laura. I was still dressed at this point i hadn’t just randomly got  into a G-string with matching suspender belt in reception.

I could not have asked for a more well matched person to take these pics. She was great at her job, she empowered me helped me to get in to character and push my boundaries.

Once upon a time a burlesque shoot was what I had wanted to do just for myself &  my husband to enjoy, now it had become a platform to encourage women to come forward and empower each other. I didn’t want anyone suffering or had suffered with cancer to hide away. I wanted women to feel beautiful and confident in their own skin, whether they had one breast no breast, scars, life’s stories etched on their skin or just lacking in confidence.

So the shoot begins….Off come my clothes ….On went the sexy lingerie….I am now feeling amazing. Signs of self love where showing for the first time in decades.

Wrapped in chains displaying a large crucifix, i’m fucking telling you i was giving Old Madge a run for her money. Not quite “Like a Virgin.” You get the picture!

On the last shoot Laura asked me if I would like to do one naked, oh I forgot to mention that Sara had sat in with me the whole time, so I glanced over at Sara and I am not quite sure what she replied but I said “Fuck it. In for a penny in for a pound” whipped off my bright red knickers and catapulted them somewhere in her direction. They were clean.

We still giggle about this, what a laugh we had. I was so excited to come back for a second time for my “FREE”  Burlesque photo shoot.

More bubbly, more proofing each photo, indecisive of which ones i wanted to keep. After all it was FREE. Well it is if you only choose one. Mine cost £600 for a feckin’ pen drive of me almost naked for fucks sake’

When I collected my pen drive containing all of these priceless pics of me, I sat wondering what to do with them now I had them. I mean I had always wanted to do a shoot and now I had but, “What was i to do with them?”

What do you do with them? It’s not like showing your mates holiday pics is it? ” Yeah, and this is just one of me in 6 inch heels posing with a telephone that’s not plugged in looking all sophisticated. More “Funny Fanny.” Than “Money Penny.” I am sat thinking who can I show them too? What if people think it’s just an attention thing? What if people don’t get why I did it or why I would want to post on social media, well not all of them…I have a little dignity left somewhere even if nothing really phases me anymore.

I felt like I needed to share my experience with people other than my husband. So after a few gins one night round at a friends, myself, Emma & Tisha huddled around the laptop waiting for it to load. I had no idea what response i was going to get. Tisha asked if she could have one to put up in her home…I have some fucking crazy mates honestly. I haven’t sent it to her yet, just my look someone else will get their hands on it first and it ends up sticking to a bus tyre on a tour of Smethwick!

I no longer give a shit what anyone thinks!!!!!

I did this with reason and if I haven’t empowered other woman from this I have definitely empowered myself, gained confidence, I am what I am, I am who I am, love me or hate me, i am me.

Or you may decide that you just get it, fully understanding and appreciating why i did it.

One Love x